We've been enjoying our trip to Tennessee for the holidays.  Last Wednesday night, Ramy, Rebecca, and I took a redeye flight to Tennessee.  I was a little anxious about the possibility of a delay, since it was so close to the holidays (we've never been this late arriving before) and because of the big storm in the midwest.  However, we had no delays and completely uneventful flights, in which all of us were able to catch a few winks.  We arrived in Nashville bright and early on Christmas Eve and enjoyed a holiday Cracker Barrel breakfast before heading south.  It was a frantic scurry to get things ready to go to church that evening and then on to Aunt Margaret's house.  Then after we got home, it was quite a late night preparing for Santa's arrival!  He, Rudolph and the other reindeer, and Santa Mouse all came through for us though, and Rebecca was ecstatic.  Christmas was a wonderful day, although there were so many presents that we saved some of them for the next day. 

I've got lots of pictures to download and upload, but no time to do it right now.  Soon though, I promise.

Dance Recital

We're still figuring out how to upload just certain sections of a video.  So fast-forward to 1:14 to view Rebecca's dance.

A Sunday night update

I think this weekend was one of the least relaxing weekends ever!  Unfortunately, it followed one of the most hectic weeks ever!  Last week was a really busy one for me.  Monday night, we had the vigil mass for the holy day of obligation that was on Tuesday.  Tuesday was an eternally long day.  I was dealing with a crisis that included a mandated suspected child abuse report and ended with a 5150 from 9:15 a.m. until I finally got to leave the clinic at almost 7 p.m....with no break or lunch.  On Thursday, I came to my Perinatal Co-Occurring group to find out that apparently all my girls had decided that they should just not take their medications.  Add some psychosis and mania to people who are newly coming off drugs and who have a lot of raging pregnancy hormones, and it is not a pretty picture!  I also had a meeting at work to help select the candidates for next year's internship class that they will interview.  It's nice to be on this end of the internship application/interviewing/selection process instead of where I was this time last year!  It's also nice to see just how impersonal the decisions whether or not to interview really are.  It helped me lick my wounds from a couple of the rejections I got last year! 

It is so hard to believe that this is my last full week of the first half of my internship.  Next year, I'll be at Upland a couple of days, then at Perinatal, and then I'll be on vacation.  When I get back, I'll be starting at CONREP.  It's going so fast!!!  I've got several clients at Upland who I am sad to be leaving, and after last Tuesday's all-day crisis, I finally feel like I've bonded a smidge with my supervisor.  Otherwise I feel a bit like I'm having senior-itis.  I know I'm leaving, so I'm ready to move on and get started at CONREP.

The biggest news on my front is that I have a really strong lead on a position at Fox Army Health Center at Redstone Arsenal, Alabama, which is essentially in Huntsville (half an hour from Fayetteville).  I've corresponded several times with the director of their neuropsychological services program, and then I had an hour and a half telephone conversation with her last Friday afternoon.  She's essentially been running a one-woman traumatic brain injury clinic, doing all her own testing, scoring, report writing, and she's got a several-month-long waiting list and needs help.  It would really be an ideal position for me.  I'd be doing neuropsych testing and some psychotherapy.  There's a lot that has to go on behind the scenes in order to create the position, but it is looking very promising.  Please, please, PLEASE pray that things go well on this front!

Ramy is going to be finishing up one trial tomorrow and starting another one on Tuesday.  Luckily for us, the bad economy doesn't slow down criminal trials any!

Rebecca is her usual joyful self.  She has been having a delightful holiday season thus far.  Last year, she was pretty wary of Santa.  This year, she's excited about the idea of Santa, but she's still a bit cautious.  She's very much into all the Christmas songs though.  Right now, she is watching the claymation cartoon of Rudolph in our room.  A few minutes ago, she was singing and dancing to Christmas songs, which I taped and will be posting very soon.  She has her first dance recital next weekend.  It is just for moms and dads, and I'm not sure how it will go.  Yesterday, they allowed the moms in to watch them practice their number.  As soon as I was in the room, Rebecca just looked at me and wouldn't dance!  I may have to leave so that she will perform!

This weekend was extremely busy.  Friday, it was pouring down rain.  When I got out of my intern training day (Fridays are early days for us), I took the opportunity to do some Christmas shopping and got a lot of things done, but I got soaked in the process.  That night, Rebecca helped me make a huge vat of spaghetti sauce, after we'd gone grocery shopping.  Rebecca has turned into a wonderful kitchen helper!  Cooking with her assistance only takes about twice as long!  She is very inquisitive and eager to learn and help.  She especially likes to stir and put in pinches of salt.  Unfortunately, she only gets about four grains of sea salt in each pinch, so you can see why it takes so long! 

On Saturday morning, Rebecca had dance class.  When we came home, she helped me put together a pan of lasagna using the sauce we'd made the night before.  She also helped me bake a pound cake.  After a trip to Costco and a very brief nap of Rebecca's, we headed off in the rain to Claremont to go to Ramy's office Christmas party.  We ended up as the recipients of a throw, which Rebecca claimed as hers, in the white elephant gift exchange, and Rebecca enjoyed playing with a little girl named Ericka and a little boy named Jason. 

This morning, we got up and went to church.  Then we got home, and Rebecc and I had just enough time to make the caramel icing for the pound cake.  She was completely enthralled with the melting of the butter in the pan, although she didn't care so much for the use of the hand mixer.  She liked the sampling of the warm icing much better though!  Then we went for a Christmas brunch at our friends Madeline and Paul's house.  Rebecca played with Rachel, Ashley, and Matthew for hours on end and was completely exhausted by the time we left.  We had some incredible roast beef that Maddie and Paul had roasted, and we did a Barefoot Contessa-style sandwich with french bread and parmegiano reggiano, fresh mozzarella, arugula, and marinated tomatoes.  It was so good....and tonight, Ramy and I were wishing we had another one!  It's always fun to have time with friends.

So it was anything but a relaxing weekend, but it was a fun weekend.  Unfortuantely, now it is almost 10 p.m., and I have laundry to finish folding and clothes to lay out for tomorrow.  I have a complicated neuropsych and psych testing case that I'm doing all day tomorrow, beginning at 7:30 a.m.

Happy Birthday, Simon!

Last Saturday (between dance class and the Knights of Columbus Christmas party), we went to the first birthday party for Simon.  It was a fun party, although it was much colder than anticipated (and it was outdoors!).

Ana's and my mutual friend Raquel was there with Eliana.  You all may remember my request for prayers for them about a year ago.  Here they are and doing wonderfully!  Ellie was born after a whole pregnancy on bedrest, after Raquel had had two miscarriages, a stillbirth, and survived the death of their triplets who were born prematurely, after 9 years of infertility treatment. 

Rebecca was pretty excited about the pinata.  And let me tell you, this kid was whacking that thing with a lot more force than one would expect from a 23 lb. child!

She was almost as excited about gathering the candy that came out when the thing finally broke apart!

The birthday boy wasn't missing any of it!

Knights Christmas Party

On Saturday, we went to the Knights of Columbus Christmas party.  I'm trying to be active as a Lady of the Night....I mean, a Lady of a Knight, so I had agreed to be on the decoration committee, so I'd had to go that morning to set up and decorate, while Ramy fielded dance class with Rebecca.  We had lots of good food at the party, at we didn't bring home any of the hashbrown casserole I'd brought and only a bit of the pound cake with caramel icing that I'd made.  It was a really nice evening, and we all had a good time.

Rebecca had a really good time at the party.  She enjoyed sitting at the kids table and playing with the other kids. 

They had these little pop gun things, and some of the kids were really obnoxious with them and made lots of noise.  Although Rebecca liked playing with the thing, she didn't like the noise the other kids were making and looked at them quite disapprovingly!

Rebecca took full advantage of having a DJ at the party and danced her heart out.  There was a little boy who was about six and who loved to dance as much as Rebecca.  This kid knew all kinds of dance moves, and he and Rebecca stole the show.  Ramy requested the DJ play "Beat It" and Rebecca was ecstatic.  She was grooving all over the dance floor (yes, my Baptist and CoC friends, at Catholic parties, we're cool with music and dancing!) and had a blast busting a move!  She was hilarious!

The dancing was interrupted by a visitor from the North Pole, who came to see the children and hand out some early Christmas presents to lighten his load a bit on Christmas Eve.  Despite the fact that it was a pretty pathetic Santa (the economy must be bad even in the North Pole, for this Santa was looking like he's skipped some meals this year), Rebecca was in awe when he walked in the door.  Her face lit up and her jaw dropped. 

he was so happy to get a present from him and was even agreeable to sitting on his lap for a bit (although I think she's still pretty wary of that whole idea). 

She was more than happy to rip into the bag and find her gift, which was a new stuffed puppy, which is quite realistic in the way it whines, barks, and wags its tail (later that night, Ramy and I were searching for an off switch but ultimately learned that he shuts up if you ignore him for a few minutes).

After she got her present, however, our little homebody was asking if it was time to go to Mama's house.  So we didn't stay very late at the party. 

Thanksgiving Recap

Wow, I don't think I've ever gotten so far behind on my blog!  Every day this week, I've had about five things I was determined to get done that never got done. 

We had such a nice Thanksgiving.  My mom was here for a week and a half.  Rebecca thoroughly enjoyed having lots of undivided Grammy time. They went out to breakfast, hung out at the bookstore, did shopping, made Christmas candy, created Christmas ornaments, and had lots of snuggle time.  Rebecca handles the separations now very well.  She doesn't get upset when Grammy leaves and knows that we'll be seeing Grammy soon.  But she certainly enjoys her Grammy while she has her! 

I took off the day before Thanksgiving, which was the first vacation day I've taken since starting at DBH. It was so nice to have five whole days off!  Instead of cooking a Thanksgiving feast, I instead made reservations.  We had Thanksgiving dinner at Tam O'Shanter, although we also had "leftovers" that I made for us to have at home.  Rebecca helped me make macaroni and cheese and cornbread dressing, and we had a honeybaked ham that we're still eating on.

On the day after Thanksgiving, my mom and I did our usual marathon of shopping.  We were at Santa Anita mall at 5:30 a.m. and didn't get home until 4:15 p.m.  We got some awesome deals!  Ramy and I were able to enjoy two date nights while my mom was here visiting.  One night, we went out for coffee and watched a movie (Precious), and the other, we had dinner at the Melting Pot and walked around at an outdoor mall.  It's nice to know that we still have plenty to talk about when we aren't accompanied by a toddler! 

A visit with friends

On Wednesday, we were privileged to get to visit with Julie and Adelaide, who were back in California for Thanksgiving.  We got together for a reunion episode of lunch-shopping-coffee at Victoria Gardens.  We haven't lost our touch at chatting and shopping and toddler-wrangling.  It was so cute to see Addie and Rebecca together again!  Addie has grown and changed so much!  She is a girl on the go now, and she was ready to go out the door wherever we happened to be!  Even better was her way of getting a kid to move out of her chair at Gymboree.  She is a believer in nonviolent forms of persuasion.  She didn't push him or try to force him out of her seat.  She just stood right in front of him, got in his personal space, and proceeded to give him the stink eye until he relinquished her chair!  Rebecca was quite concerned about a little girl who tried to push Addie, so she tattled to me (also a believer in nonviolence!).  We had hoped to get together again on Sunday, but family obligations ruled.  So we'll have to carry on via email, text message, and phone calls!  Maybe we can get the girls to do a webcam chat sometime soon.

Our shopping wore our girls out!  (Please don't call CPS.  She didn't stay in the trunk.  It was just a convenient spot for a diaper change)

Giving Thanks

There are many things for which I am thankful this Thanksgiving.  I am incredibly rich and have been blessed far beyond what I deserve.  I am spending Thanksgiving with the family I adore.  That alone is worth immesurably more than anything else.  I've realized in the past few weeks and months just how many people there are (who live just a few miles from me!) who really have no one.  Without people to love you, what else is there?  In my work, I often have to stifle my desire to gather some of my clients under my arms like little chickens and bring them home with me and mother them, because it's so painfully obvious what the lack of nurturing has meant to their wellbeing. 

I am so thankful to have been born into a family where I knew nothing but love and contentment.  I'm blessed to have married a man who I just really like, in addition to being in love with him.  We've been graced with a daughter who is an absolute delight and who enthralls us with her antics and sweetness.  We're all healthy.  Although we've lost people who were so dear to us, we have happy memories and no regrets about our relationships with them. 

We live in a land of plenty.  We have jobs we actually enjoy.  We have friends who are loyal and funny. We have two furry little creature-people who spread dog hair around and make our house even more lived in.  We were blessed with education and opportunity.  We have a reason to get up in the morning and nothing to dread when we fall asleep at night.

For these things and so many others, I am truly thankful.

Sous Chef

One of Rebecca's new favorite things is to help me cook.  We have done quite a number of culinary projects together lately, including rice crispie treats, a pound cake, macaroni and cheese, chicken noodle soup, spice cake cookies, scrambled eggs, and this pumpkin pie.  I have an eager and determined helper in the kitchen.  In fact, there is much consternation if I have decided not to cook that that night or if I have prepared something that has cooked in the slow cooker all day.

When we made this pumpkin pie, we talked about how it was Grandpa Lee's favorite dessert and how he and I were the only ones who liked it.  Rebecca said, "I nike [like] it too!"  She whisked together all the ingredients, poured in the milk, helped me measure spices and dumped them into the bowl, and told me when we'd grated enough ginger.  She was so proud of her pie and wanted to stay in the kitchen to watch through the oven door the entire hour that it baked!  There was no patience for a cooling off process, and Rebecca insisted that we have a piece as soon as it came out of the oven, despite the fact that the custard was still steaming!  She prounounced it "de-nish-us!" and reminds me about how she made her "pown-kin" pie on almost a daily basis.

It's been a long week...

It was a long hard week here.  Ramy's father passed away last Sunday night.  Friday evening was the viewing and rosary service for Ramy's dad, and then the funeral and burial were yesterday.  All of the services were at our church, and Deacon Pat did a wonderful version of the rosary and Father Pat did a beautiful funeral service. After the burial yesterday, there was a reception at Ramy's sister Gina's house. The weather was beautiful, and Rebecca behaved wonderfully. She handled the whole situation incredibly well, despite being around so many unfamiliar people and in a lot of sit-still-and-be-quiet situations!  She seems to understand what happened fairly well.  We've had several talks about Grandpa going to heaven, and she knew that people at the funeral would be sad because we're going to miss him but that he is happy in heaven and not sick anymore.  She wanted to say bye-bye to him, and she waved at him and did fine.

Ramy gave a eulogy at the funeral, and it was so eloquent.  He spoke about Fred's diligence as a father (to hear Ramy talk, he was a shiftless punk kid who wasn't interested in school) and how his dad was his role model. He included the poem that I've posted before, which was a wall hanging that his dad had for many years.  I know I'm a bit biased, but it really was one of the best tributes I've ever heard.  Why won't he let me see him in trial??? 

I worked all week, except for Wednesday, since it was Veteran's Day.  I have so much work going on right now, and I've only got four more weeks at my current clinic.  I've also been trying to work on my dissertation stats analyses and was trying to get all my data consolidated into one spreadsheet, code the data appropriately, and then do all the reverse coding that needed to be done before I can run the stats.  Ramy was off and making arrangements (he had Wednesday off for the holiday and Friday was his day off anyway).  On Wednesday, our new housekeeper came for the first time and cleaned our house from top to bottom.  Actually, she brought a helper, and the two of them worked from 9 a.m. until almost 4 p.m.  I'm loving it!  She'll be coming every other week for the time being.  It's so great!

In addition to all of that going on, our computer decided this week that it would take the opportunity to bite it.  It had gone out a few days before, but I thought I had fixed it.  Unfortunately not, because on Tuesday, it couldn't bring itself out of sleep mode and wouldn't start up.  Fortunately, we were able to get it fixed and back to us on Friday with a brand new hard drive.  Of course, that necessitated the reloading of all of our programs and files (fortunately we had backup) and a frantic search for a product key for Office 2007. 

Today, we've just had a really nice day.  We slept in, ate breakfast at home, read the newspaper... Then we went to Costco and the library and the park.  Tonight, we'll be going to the first night of the novena for Ramy's dad, which is a Filipino tradition.   Tomorrow, we'll be back to our regular routine, but not for long, because Grammy is coming soon for a long Thanksgiving visit. 

Passing

Ramy's father passed away tonight around 9:00 p.m.  Certainly, he has been very ill for such a long time.  No one would want him to have continued to suffer.  In many ways, Ramy has grieved the loss of his father for almost five years.   I am reminded of when my grandmother passed away, five years after her stroke.  My father referred to it as "the saddest blessing."  Indeed, although we are all sad that he is no longer with us, we know that he is now freed from his earthly limitations.

I didn't have too much opportunity to get to know my father-in-law before his first stroke, which happened just a few months after Ramy and I got married.  While I wish I'd had more time to get to know him, I already knew and continue to learn much about him, from the best source possible - my husband. 

I know that Fred was unspeakably proud of his only son.  I know that Ramy was the fulfillment of all that he had hoped for his family, when he made plans to get out of his native country because it couldn't offer the life he wanted for his children.  I've often wondered and imagined how difficult that must have been.  Fred emigrated to the United States, and he and Lydia didn't know how long it would be before the family would be reunited.  Fred came to Los Angeles by himself and worked to get the rest of them there as soon as possible (which was 2 years later).  There's a wonderful picture of them when Ramy, his mom and sisters arrived here in the U.S and reunited with his dad.  In that picture, Fred looks strikingly similar to how Ramy looks now.  He is absolutely beaming with joy.  I know how hard Ramy has worked his whole life to make his father proud of him, and he certain has been - and will continue to be - proud of him.

I've thought before how unfair it is that Rebecca was cheated out of both her grandfathers.  We were cheated out of getting to see our fathers be her grandfathers.  But then I realize that they continue to live on through us, in the stories we tell and in the things we share with her.  Tonight, in fact, before we learned this news, Rebecca and I baked a pumpkin pie and I was telling her how that was her Grandpa Lee's favorite dessert this time of year.  I see him in many of her faces and even in the way she doesn't like to have her feet covered.  Similarly, Rebecca will know much about her Grandpa Fred through Ramy.  His endless patience with her, the way he is so involved and attentive to her - he learned by example.  I know exactly what kind of man my father-in-law was, because I see the kind of father that my husband is.  I can think of no better legacy.

Trying on hats at Nordstrom

Thoughts on a Tuesday night

Although my blog title sounds like I have something profound to say, don't be fooled.  It's just my usual drivel.

I finally got finished editing all the pics from our zoo trip.  So you can see some of the ones of Rebecca petting "baby giraffes" in the graphic above.  Yes, I know they're really some kind of deer, but she believed them to be baby giraffes, and I really saw no reason to tell her otherwise.  She has talked about giraffes many times since (possibly since we came home with Jonathan Giraffe), and she asks to go back to the "wile aminal park" frequently.  "Tomorrow?"  "Next week?"  I'll be posting more pics from our zoo trip in the days to come.

Today, there was a bit of excitement in Chino Hills.  There was a fire in some of the hills quite near our house.  The freeway was closed near there, and our neighborhood was engulfed in smoke.  Nanny Rebecca and Little Rebecca took off for the Shoppes at Chino Hills to escape the smoke smell.  Thankfully, our house was never in danger and the Chino Valley and Los Angeles Fire Departments launched a quick response and got it contained and put out in less than six hours.  But it's a reminder of the fact that we live in the midst of a tenderbox!  Last November, there were lots of fires in SoCal, and I hope we don't have more this year.

On Sunday, we had to make a trip to the emergency animal clinic with Sydney-girl.  She jumped off a retaining wall at Ramy's mom's house and hurt her leg.  She was crying in pain and we thought it quite possible she had broken her leg.  Fortunately, it was just a sprain.  She's been putting no weight on it and just laying around (possible under the influence of painkillers) and just not quite herself.  However, she did manage to grin at the animal clinic vet in her usual Sydney way.  She is kind of an old girl (she doesn't think a lady aught to have to tell her true age, so we don't know exactly how old she is), but hopefully she will make a full recovery.  Rebecca was very attentive and concerned.  She has recounted to me several times how Sydney fell and hurt her leg.  When we were at the animal clinic, Rebecca would say to Sydney, "You be fine.  Don't be scared."  So sweet!

Work is good, but busy as always.  I realized yesterday that I only have six weeks left in the Upland clinic, and then I'll be moving to CONREP.  I can't believe it has gone so fast!  In fact, I'm not taking any new clients there now, because Id only be able to see them five times (at most), so I'm going to just focus on testing and maintaining the clients I have there currently.  I got good reviews on my evaluation from my supervisor for my first quarter performance, so I was happy about that.  It will be a big adjustment going to CONREP, because I hear that my supervisor there is 180° different than my current one, but in a good way.  (I have nothing against my current supervisor - I've learned so much from her - but the one I'll have at CONREP just has a totally different personality and attitude, from what I hear).  This realization that time is slipping away led me to actually break out my dissertation data and download a new version of my stats program.  Good thing, because I've got to get an abstract ready to submit for a presentation by December 1 (the abstract is due then - the presentation wouldn't be until June).  And I've also started investigating potential post-docs in Tennessee and Alabama.  I'm casting a broad net with this job search!  I'll be looking at everything from neuropsych to forensic to community mental health to colleges to healthcare!

Please keep the Beck family in your prayers.  Laura was healed of her cancer last Friday, although that miracle didn't come out to be for her to stay on Earth.  While her family is grateful that she is no longer suffering, they will miss her so terribly.  They're a wonderful family, and I know their pain is so fresh right now.  It is hard for me to believe that it has been three years since we were going through my dad's long hospitalization.  The memory of it all seems a bit unreal, but I always feel this sense of dread this time of year, remembering back to those long days of uncertainty and dread and the roller coaster of good news chased by more complications and bad news and hurdles to overcome.  We were so fortunate to have many people around us to love us and help us through that awful time, and I can't imagine anyone going through something like that without support.

Some happy news - my friend Julie learned that their baby is a boy!  Baby Boy Woltil is expected in March!  Rebecca and I are looking forward to visiting with Miss Julie and Addie when they are home at Thanksgiving.

Halloween Recap

We had a really enjoyable Halloween.  Rebecca was very excited to be a "pwitty pwincess."  She's enjoyed seeing Halloween decorations in various places, and for awhile (after her princess costume was well under way), she was saying she wanted to be a witch.  So I had to contaminate her little mind against witches.  Apparently it worked well, because for the past week or so, she would say "I don't wanna be a witch!  They ugly and mean and scary!"  So of course, last night, she said the same thing when she would see people dressed as witches!

On Friday night, we finally carved our pumpkin we had gotten at the pumpkin patch.  Somehow this turned into completely a project of my own.  Ramy's not much on the pumpkin carving, and Rebecca thought the guts were gross.  She quickly abandoned that part of the project!

She did help me draw his face design though, and I think he turned out pretty cute!

After we got her dressed, we went over to Ramy's mom's house so that Grandma could see Rebecca in her costume.  Then we went over to the carnival they were having at a shopping center nearby, and Rebecca got to see a lot of other kids and trick or treat at the stores around there.  The best part was that the Chinese restaurant was giving out fortune cookies instead of candy. 

Next, we went to one of the neighborhoods near our house that is flat and has lots of houses.  We set off walking, tricking and treating.  Rebecca kept thinking that since she was a princess, her carriage should show up.  When it didn't, she decided that Ramy could stand in.  So he had to carry her between houses!  Although she didn't really like the idea of holding her frog bag up for people to drop candy in, she was quite brave about marching up to the door, ringing the bell, and saying "trick or treat."  I think the ringing of the doorbell was actually more fun for her than the candy part, and she was disappointed when she didn't get to ring the bell before the candy-giver came out.

We weren't quite done with that neighborhood, and Ramy and I had already decided that we were going to go to another neighborhood close by to do some more.  However, Rebecca was over Halloween at that point and told us she wanted to "go home to mama's house."  We tried to stop at a couple more houses, but she would say, "No, I wanna go home. Let's go to mama's house."  We stopped at Panera Bread to eat dinner, so our princess explored all the stuff in her bag.  She tasted some Nerds candy and promptly spit them into a napkin, then did the same with a Twix bar, exclaiming with both, "I don't like that candy."  She has been much more enamored of the little bags of pretzels she got at a couple of places. 

We didn't get a single trick-or-treater at our house, so we're left with a big Costco-sized bag of candy bars.  Heaven help!  I'm taking some to my office to put out for my clients and we'll send the rest to the Philippines with our box of goodies for our friends.