Socialization

One of the best things about Rebecca's dance class experience has been her increased opportunities for socialization.  Let's face it, that's why all the 2.5-3.5 year olds are in the dance class - Julliard isn't there recruiting.  Even though I am forthrightly biased, let me assure you that Rebecca really is the best dancer in her class.  Whereas most of the kids have trouble not stumbling just walking across the floor in their ballet shoes, Rebecca is doing pretty awesome at walking across the board on pointe.  I'm most proud of the fact that she is an excellent student, because listening, attending, waiting patiently, and following instructions are skills that are going to be critical for her in most endeavors in life, not just in dance class. 

I'm wondering, however, if I give Rebecca a little too much encouragement!  I praise her mightily when she comes out to have her ballet shoes exchanged for her tap shoes, talking about how I've noticed her being a good listener and for being a nice friend to little girls in her class who are shy and for being patient when the teacher was working with someone else and for doing her steps exactly the way her teacher showed her. 

Rebecca takes the being-a-nice-friend piece quite seriously.  She is quick to try to befriend the other children, and there are two little girls with whom she can regularly be seen socializing when the teacher is working individually with another student.  Recently, a new little girl came in and was very shy and didn't want her mommy to leave.  When the little girl cried, Rebecca's lip started quivering.  Later, she was quite forceful in trying to be friends with another little girl, whether that child wanted to be friends or not.  Rebecca simply wasn't going to have it that the girl wouldn't hold hands with her! 

Last week, 2 new little girls came in to the class.  They are sisters and don't speak a word of English apparently.  I gather that their parents have spoken only Chinese to them within the home thus far (knowing that they will of course pick up English from their environment and will readily be bilingual) and are doing dance class to start the socializaiton process.  They are so shy and cling to each other.  Last week, Rebecca knew they were shy.  This week, she was determined to make friends.  When they came in, she waved to them and said hi and made room for them to sit next to her on the mat.  She was visibly disappointed when they chose to sit on their own on the opposite end of the mat.  Not to be dissuaded, our social butterfly attempted to talk to them.  I have no idea what she was saying (I watch through the window), but I noticed her leaning forward with her hands on her knees and talking to them with careful anunciation.  Soon thereafter, she came out to have me change her shoes and announced, "dose girls don't TALK!"  I tried explaining to her that they just didn't know the words to say to her but that she could still try to be a friend to them, but it was clear that she believed that I had no grasp of what an impossible task it was to attempt.

In the car on the way home, we were talking about dance class and her friends.  She said, "Well, they [meaning all the other girls] aren't good.  Just me." 

Heaven help.