Tomorrow begins my internship. I have to admit that, in some ways, I am sad about it, because working full time means less time with Rebecca. I've so enjoyed being able to be with her so much - more than twice as many days a week with her than away from her, plus lots of time for her and I to have shopping dates and playdates on weekdays and to take several week-long trips to Tennessee each year. I'd like to say that I've enjoyed the time and ability to be a happy homemaker, but somehow even with allegedly being at home so much, the office has remained in a perpetual state of chaos of my doing. I was definitely not cut out to be a full time stay-at-home mom. I've enjoyed having the best of both worlds these past two years - putting on my work clothes and carrying my Coach bag or my red Italian leather work tote and doing off and doing something intellectually challenging a couple of days a week. I've been so blessed to be in a position to have that kind of time with Rebecca for two and a half years. Most mothers have to return to full time work when their babies are just six weeks old....so, I certainly have nothing about which to complain. I'm very thankful that, for her, very little changes, except for the fact that I am gone an extra two days a week. She has the same environment and adores Nanny Rebecca, and they have all kinds of plans for the summer. I know she is happy (jubuliantly so, in fact!) and well cared-for. In the end, that's what really matters. But it does make me a bit sad.
On the other hand, I'm really excited to be beginning this last step on my academic journey. It's certainly a big milestone in my professional life. I know that Ramy harbors some kind of fear that I'll take a whim to embark on another degree when I'm finished with my Ph.D., since I've now been in school for 26 years. But no, I'm really done after this! (Although the idea of going to pastry school in my retirement actually seems exceptionally appealing). Today, after I went to fill out a stack of paperwork for direct deposit, who to give my last check to if I kick it, how many exemptions I'm claiming, how I want my name on my badge, and swearing my allegiance to the U.S. Constitution, I went over to Loma Linda. I turned in my key to the internal clinic, which I've had since the end of my first year there. I also cleaned the random papers out of my mailbox. I had a little foreshadowing of the feeling I expect to have next June when I'm finally officially done with that place and will be leaving with a hood on my shoulders and some sheepskin in my hands. I'm excited to be fully in the practice world. I'm excited about the work I'll be doing and the opportunities I'll have on internship and about getting ready to start making plans for what comes after graduation. I've been looking at all the various options for review materials for the EPPP (the national licensing exam)...and trying to be realistic about how much effort I'm going to put into studying for it.
I am grateful for all the people in my life who love and support me and who will continue to do so in this next chapter of our life.
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